May 6^th – May 12^th

-Sports and Suicide: On May 2^nd, longtime NFL standout Junior Seau shot himself in the chest and committed suicide. In the week following his death, many have come forward claiming that it was his NFL career that led him to this tragic end. Their reasoning goes that the brain damage Seau suffered from football led to a spiraled loss of control, in this case resulting in self-destruction. But stepping away from Seau and the NFL for a moment, consider the implausibility of understanding suicide. There are plenty of identifiable symptoms of suicide; they are called suicidal tendencies. These symptoms range from depression, to fear of embarrassment, to isolation, to mental disorder. But, as goes the mysterious territory of death, there is no proof of what makes a person kill himself. In hindsight, we can gather the evidence to attribute the risk factors a person might have carried with them, but because Dead Men Tell No Tales, we could never discern a direct cause of suicide. Is it the depression or the mental disorder that wins out in the end? Is it a surrender to overwhelming feelings? A statement of some sort? We can never know. Junior Seau’s suicide is a tragedy in the sense that all loss of life is a terrible tragedy. It is not, however, a tragedy that teaches us anything about the horrors of football. Do athletes, particularly football players, put undo pressure and stress on their bodies and minds? Of course. Did playing football in the NFL kill Junior Seau? Of course not. In August 2011, ex-Orioles pitcher Mike Flanagan shot himself in the head with a shotgun. His family couldn’t even identify the body at first because he was so mangled by the blast. There were reports of financial stress for Flanagan, who spent a long time working in the Orioles front office after retiring, and even rumors that Flanagan was “despondent about perceived failures during his tenure in the Orioles’ front office.” All mere speculation, obviously, as Flanagan isn’t around to explain himself. But if it’s true that Flanagan killed himself because of the stress of the Baltimore’s prolonged baseball futility, should we take steps to somehow relieve that stress? Get rid of the Orioles? Should we cancel baseball all together? Once again: of course not. Suicide, more than anything, is a product of desperation. It is a final resort for those who see no other solution. How can the NFL be blamed for such an internal process? Some have claimed (like THIS idiot) that Seau shot himself in the chest in an effort to leave his brain unharmed, so it could be studied for damage he suffered from football. In that particular article, the idiot claims, “I believe Seau, who was just 43, wanted to deliver a final message, one that would force us to ask uncomfortable questions.” Well thanks, idiot, for illuminating the final message of a person on the brink of killing himself. It must be nice to have such omnipotence. Rick Morrissey, of the Chicago Sun Times, makes an even bolder leap, asking, "How many parents heard about Junior Seau and Dave Duerson and plan on banning their children from the gridiron?" Apparently, Mr. Morrissey envisions parents using this stream of logic: "My son, if allowed to play football, will undoubtedly make the NFL. After a long career of banging his head against other players, he will then, undoubtedly, kill himself. To avoid such distress, we are not going to sign him up for peewees." The truth is much more unsettling than these fools make it appear: we have no idea why Seau killed himself. It feels much safer to assume it was football that led him to it, as knowing the exact source of his pain is somewhat of a mitigating comfort. And even if Seau did kill himself exactly for the reason of having his brain studied for the damaging effects of football, what would it prove? What would it change? For every Junior Seau and Dave Duerson, there are thousands of NFL veterans who don’t commit suicide. The exception never proves the rule, especially when it comes to something as personal and erratic as suicide. Suicide is an unpleasant truth of human nature. We can’t explain it anymore than we can prevent it. Seau chose to play football. Later, he chose to take his own life. Don’t feel sorry for him or NFL players. Feel sorry for the sad nature of our existence. Feel sorry that there are some things, like suicide, that we will never understand. Above all, feel sorry for Seau’s family, who have not only been burdened with the advent of his death, but likely will be dragged through some prolonged campaign against the NFL and brain injury, during which they will be forced to relive their loss again and again and again…something we can be sure Seau never would have wanted.

-Josh Hamilton and 18 Total Bases (May 8^th): Hamilton had a historic night last Tuesday, hitting a quartet of two-run homers and throwing in a double to boot, ending the night 5-5 with 8 RBI. Hamilton became just the 16^th player to hit four homeruns in a single game, a feat rarer than a perfect game, which has happened 21 times. Hamilton’s performance was quickly dubbed “The greatest game in the history of the American League.” Instantly, I wondered who the hell had a better game in the National League. The answer is Shawn Green, who had 19 total bases while playing for the Dodgers in 2002. That’s a hell of a game, but once enough time passes, it feels like a record that will fall; Hamilton was a hair away from doing just that. It’s interesting how some records seem more epic than others. Though there have been more perfect games than 4-HR games, a perfect game seems harder to do. Each record has its own aura around it. The all-time home run record was considered immortal until Barry Bonds broke it and the steroids scandal ruined all of its luster. Nowadays, I don’t even hear the record mentioned. I prefer the truly amazing records, the ones that are damn near untouchable. Consider Billy Hamilton’s 198 runs scored in the 1894 season. That record will never fall. Barry Bonds’ 2004 season was amazing (despite the steroids) for many reasons, but most notably for his 1.422 OPS (FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON!) My personal favorites are any records relating to no-hitters, and I’ll explain why in a moment. Nolan Ryan holds the record for most career no-hitters, with seven. Ryan also holds the insane record for most no-hitters broken up in the seventh inning or later, with 24. Three different men hold the record for fewest strikeouts in a no-hitter, with zero (most recently accomplished by Ken Holtzman in 1971). Amos Rusie was the youngest ever to throw a no-hitter, accomplishing the feat at just 20 years and 2 months. Still, these records might all be broken someday, if the right player comes along. The record, however, that will not be broken belongs to Johnny Vander Meer, who in June of 1938, threw back to back no-hitters. Johnny’s record will never be bested because in order to beat it, one would have to throw three no-hitters in a row. There is perhaps no record in sports more unbeatable. It’s almost inconceivable to not give up a single hit over three straight games. If I was given a choice as to which record I would choose to hold, to cement my name in the annals of sport history, I would surely choose the back to back no-hitters of Vander Meer. Yeah right…I would definitely take the home run record. Chicks dig the long ball.