April 15^th – April 21^st

-Ozzie Guillen Apologizes for Castro Remarks (April 17^th): After an inflammatory interview with Time Magazine, during which the Marlin’s coach stated that he “loved” Fidel Castro and had a lot of “respect” for him, Guillen bit the obligatory bullet and made a public apology for the comments. As a new face in America’s largest Cuban community, it shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that Castro is a touchy subject to talk about in the first place, but to say you love a dictator is borderline insane. Not that this is anything new for Guillen, a bullshit artist with a long history of rambling about things with little to no understanding of the issues at stake. And, as expected, Guillen laid the apology on thick, using a variety of excuse techniques ranging from being unprofessional (“The Marlins hired me to manage a ball club, not talk about politics”), to self-deprecation (“If I don’t learn from this, then I will call myself dumb”), to the age-old Latin American Lost in Translation (“I was thinking in Spanish and speaking in English”). As a Chicagoan, I know the Castro comments were nothing more than “Ozzie being Ozzie”, which, over the years, I learned to think of as synonymous with “Ozzie being an ill-informed idiot.” But forgetting Ozzie for a moment, the outrage in Miami over Ozzie’s comments is a troubling symptom of the larger problem of giving undue credence to comments from celebrities. Ozzie is an expert in baseball, having played or coached it most of his life. That in no way qualifies him to ruminate on any topic other than baseball, especially not politics or issues of international diplomacy. The obvious answer, for Ozzie, is to do what the other 99.9% of celebrities do and keep his ignorant mouth shut. But, when he does open his mouth, to say something as idiotic as he did, why do we lend credit to his comments by taking the time to be outraged? Every Cuban in Miami has brought down hellfire upon Ozzie, clamoring for his removal as manager, but the appropriate response would probably be to shrug off such blatantly inappropriate comments, because they come from a source that isn’t equipped to equivocate on such things. People have gotten similarly riled up when celebrities have taken a public stand on a political issue in the past: reference either Kanye West after Hurricane Katrina, claiming “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” or the Dixie Chicks catching flack for stating that they were against the war in Iraq. Neither of those entities’ opinion should be given any more weight than any other citizen protected by the freedom of speech. Their celebrity is the only reason these opinions even get heard. Do you stop to listen to the raving lunatics on street corners? Of course not. So why listen to some dickhead in a manager’s uniform? With this knowledge, that these people are well-known for reasons entirely unrelated to the political issues that affect our nation, it’s a simple fix just to ignore them. Don’t give them the press of scrutinizing their words (whether reasonable or not) or allow them the mass exposure of a public apology, which has become a media event on par with the State of the Union address, especially in sports. When I go see a band in concert or go to a ballpark to catch a game, I’m not there to check out the political views of the artists and athletes. For such knowledge, I would attend a city council meeting, watch a political debate, research qualified online sources, or read a book. Granted, Ozzie has the right to say whatever he wants. But we have the right to ignore him. We should use it.

-Spurs Top Hollinger’s Power Rankings: Here is the formula used by ESPN’s head stat man John Hollinger to rank NBA teams: (((SOS-0.5)/0.037)*0.67) + (((SOSL10-0.5)/0.037)*0.33) + 100 + (0.67*(MARG+(((ROAD-HOME)*3.5)/(GAMES))) + (0.33*(MARGL10+(((ROAD10-HOME10)*3.5)/(10))))) While looking very complicated, and one would probably bust their parenthesis key attempting to type it out by hand, the formula only involves a few considerations: scoring margin (points allowed vs points scored), strength of schedule, recent performance (heavy emphasis on last 25% of games), and home/road performance (record at home vs record on the road). Hollinger based his formula off of years of information and studies, focusing on the most likely predictors of team success. The formula is an unbiased way of attempting to judge the quality of a team. And as of the moment, Hollinger’s formula has the San Antonio Spurs as the best team in the NBA. Now, as an avid NBA follower, at no point in this season have I considered the Spurs even one of the best FIVE teams in the league. There is no way they are the best the NBA has to offer. And I think most people would agree with me. The Spurs’ regular season record is always very good, but that has not led to playoff success in the past few years, as their roster has gotten older. Their consistent regular season success is more attributable to other factors that don’t always translate to championships. They draft well, scouting foreign players better than anyone. They develop their prospects. They protect their home court and don’t lose to teams they shouldn’t. They have one of the best coaches in the game. But the truth is, as any seasoned NBA analyst will tell you, it is the quality of your superstars that decides your team’s chances to win a championship. With Tim Duncan at 35 years of age (and aching knees), Manu Ginobli at 34 (tons of nagging injuries), and Tony Parker’s potential seeming to have peaked (even he is a whisker away from 30), how can the Spurs really be a title contender? Their prolonged success over the last decade is a shining tribute to the quality of the franchise, but does anyone believe, right now, that the Spurs are the team to beat? Hollinger’s formula also extends to give predictions of what a team’s chances are for the playoffs. I was already skeptical of a statistical program that would declare the Spurs as the best team in the NBA, even for a day, but when I saw that Hollinger’s formula gives the Spurs a 34% TO WIN THE TITLE I just about blew my lid. To give that number some reference, the next closest team is Oklahoma City, with a projected 18% chance of winning the NBA championship. Chicago is next at 13% and then Miami at 10%. Because the Spurs have clinched the #1 seed for the playoffs, they will likely have a cakewalk to the second round regardless if they play Utah or Phoenix. But after that, the Spurs will play the winner of the Memphis/Clippers series. Would you consider them heavy favorites to win that series? And if they do scrape by to the Western Conference Finals (even though Memphis knocked them out of the playoffs in the first round last year), the Spurs would have to play whoever emerges from a foursome consisting of the Thunder, Lakers, Mavericks, and the Nuggets – all teams I can see giving huge problems to the old legs of the Spurs (except for maybe Dallas, though they are the reigning world champions and, last I checked, Dirk is still on the roster). What odds would you give to the Spurs making the Finals, knowing the slew of difficult teams they would have to get through? Hollinger’s formula says that the odds are almost even: 48%! For a team that hasn’t made the Finals since 2007, retaining an essentially identical roster. Being specific, the biggest challenges the Spurs will face are likely against the Thunder and whoever comes out of the East, the Bulls or Heat. The Spurs are 2-1 against OKC, which is great, but have lost both of their games against the Chicago and Miami (Chicago at home). In my mind, the Spurs don’t get past Game 5 against any of those teams, even with home court advantage. That is not even accounting for the fact that an old teams like the Spurs are built for early round exits (IT JUST HAPPENED LAST YEAR!). It’s laughable to say the Spurs are the best team in the NBA, because they simply aren’t. I don’t care what boggled formula you construct, Mr. Hollinger, it should never make declarations as bogus as that. That is, unless, the Spurs do win the title and I’m eating crow for the entire summer.