2018-2019: Week 5 Player Reports

Game 1: Team Brennan (Red) vs. Team Garmes (Orange)

-First off, let’s stand and salute the incredible shooting Steigerwald has displayed through the first third of the season. As usual, his team stinks and it’s unclear how he can chart a path to a title, but his shooting through four games has been monolithic. Mike hit a career-high (10) 3’s in Week 5, bringing his season total to 29 made three-pointers. The record for 3’s made in a regular season is 54, set by Mark last year. Steigerwald is on pace for 87. He’s averaging an absurd 7.25 made 3’s per game. Good Lord. It would help his cause if his team showed up every week, because while Mike was torching defenders, Team Orange did whatever the hell they wanted for forty minutes. In a rare high-scoring game, Team Orange looked faster, bigger, and better coasting to a 4-0 record. By the end of the night, they were the last remaining unbeaten team in HatchetBall. Team G-G-G-G-Garmes will play Team Kenny Konrath and Team Beave over the next couple weeks; let’s see if they are the real deal and can keep the streak going.

Game 2: Team Kenny Konrath (Blue) vs. Team Matt V (Dark Blue)

-HatchetBall will always be about matchups and this game was one of the weirder matchups we’ve seen. As expected, Luke’s team is short on playmaking and shooting, which was why it seemed so strange to trade away their first-round pick who happens to be a playmaker and a shooter. But I digress. Even though they play hard and will likely continue to overachieve, Team Blue will be battling uphill almost every game, you would think. Team Matt V looked out of sorts, again, but had just enough talent to get past the gritty Team Blue. Luke put on a show, setting a personal record for points, with 29. So I guess it would be a bit petty to point out Luke’s rebounds and assists are down this year and he hasn’t recorded a block all season. In one of the cutest moments in HatchetBall history, the Dudek brothers put up almost identical stat lines: 4 points, 1 made 3-Pointer, 1-2 from the foul line. Adorable.

Game 3: - Team Beave (Light Blue) vs. Team Vito (Teal)

-Underneath their perfect 4-0 record, the robust Team Beave has struggled offensively all season. When you’re holding teams under 50 points, you don’t need to light the nets on fire, but their inability to stay organized on offense cost them their first loss of the season in Week 5. Time and again, team Light Blue sputtered on offense with awkward, errant post-entry passes and cutters running into each other. Their size and talent will keep them in every game, but they’ll need to show more poise on offense as the season progresses and teams settle in to a rhythm. Team Vito grabbed their second win in a row, with Freddy the Roll Man looking sharp again. His tits and roll IQ may be the best in the league. We’ll see if Team Teal is truly on track with the Matt “Bird Rapist” Vitaliano squad in their way in Week 6.

Standings

Team	Captain	Win	Loss	Record	Win %	Streak
Orange	Kyle Garmes	4	0	4 - 0	1.000	W4
Light Blue	Beave	4	1	4 - 1	0.800	L1
Blue	Kenny Konrath	2	2	2 - 2	0.500	L1
Teal	Vito	2	2	2 - 2	0.500	W2
Dark Blue	Matt V	2	3	2 - 3	0.400	W1
Red	Brian Brennan	1	3	1 - 3	0.250	L2
Green	Jimmy Konrath	0	4	0 - 4	0.000	L4