2017-2018: Week 7 Player Reports

Game 1: Team Brennan (Green) vs. Team Bo (Orange)

-Thank the lord for Team Orange. They are the one thing making Team Green look like an actual basketball team. Team Green was finally able to get in the win column in just about the ugliest fashion possible. Mark worked for an extremely efficient 34 points, 10 rebounds, and career-high 5 blocks, but there is no way he can carry this team on his own. The other players show flashes of capable decision making, but the execution has been lacking. In reality, what Team Green needs is incredibly simple: make a reasonable percentage of their open shots. That means about a third of the wide-open jump shots and over half of their layups. That, immediately, would provide a 15-20 boost to their usual score total. Seeing as though Team Green’s losses have been in the single-digit range, that is a huge difference. Team Orange, even with the surprising contributions of Bobby (which is certain not to last) looks like an all-time turd. They’re sitting at 0-5 and their next three games are against Blue (#2), Yellow (#1), Red (#5). They will need an upset in one of these games to even sniff a scenario where they can think about the playoffs.

Game 2: Team Konrath (Dark Blue) vs. Team Tierney (Light Blue)

-Team Konrath did not use their whiffle ball win over Team Orange in Week 6 to create any team cohesion. They still look undermanned, slow, and clunky. Team Tierney gets by with a solid rotation and timely shooting. Their team actually might play the hardest of every team in the league. There’s, again, nothing special that they do. They just do enough to edge comparable opponents. Standing at 3-2, they have put themselves in a great position for the rest of the season. They have a tough stretch coming up after their BYE in Week 8, against Team Grey and Team Blue, but their strong performance so far has given them a wide margin for error. If they get to 5 wins, they will likely have guaranteed a playoff spot, where anything can happen (especially this year).

Game 3: - Team Garmes (Red) vs. Team Matt V (Yellow)

-Both teams were minus their top scorer and top ball-handler, which led to an ugly slugfest. Team Red looked in control for most of the game, until Elder Statham hit a go-ahead three-pointer with 2 seconds left. Team Yellow continues to roll without looking spectacular. As usual, fortune continues to favor Matt V, as his squad starts a stretch against the three worst teams in HatchetBall. Who will step up to dethrone this ass-sucker?

Standings

Team	Captain	Win	Loss	Record	Win %	Streak
Yellow	Matt V	4	0	4 - 0	1.000	W4
Blue	Vito	4	1	4 - 1	0.800	W3
Grey	Spadoni	3	2	3 - 2	0.600	L2
Light Blue	Tierney	3	2	3 - 2	0.600	W1
Red	Garmes	2	2	2 - 2	0.500	L1
Dark Blue	Konrath	1	3	1 - 3	0.250	L1
Green	Brennan	1	3	1 - 3	0.250	W1
Orange	Bo	0	5	0 - 5	0.000	L5