2017-2018: Week 1 Player Reports

Game 1: Team Brennan (Green) vs. Team Spadoni (Grey)

-This was an early season clash between teams that hit the draft at different ends of the spectrum. Team Brennan got an early draft pick and rounded out with inexperienced players that don’t have a history of winning. Team Spadoni was a subpar team on paper until a ridiculous trade that may have catapulted them into title contention. Team Green has some capable players, but they’ll need to figure out a way to hang with the tenured players in the league who capitalize on mistakes and inefficient play. Team Spudruckers has a plethora of scoring options and, with Murph and Smurf Hahn, they have some of the athletic grit that is critical to postseason success. Green stayed close until Team Grey started passing the ball with fervor, leading to way too many open shots in the second half. Grey ended up winning easily, by double digits.

Game 2: Team Matt V (Yellow) vs. Team Bo (Orange)

-Matt V and Bo are very similar captains, in that they like to draft the same type of teams every year. Matt V seems to do this out of a desire to win championships; Bo seems to do this because of a significant brain injury. He drafted himself another slog of a squad, who will be torturous to watch as they routinely struggle to put 50 points on the board each week. Matt V’s team didn’t look as fluid as the crew he assembled last season, which snagged him his fourth title, but they’ll have time to figure out what they need to do and it’s hard to imagine them landing anywhere but the 1, 2, or 3 seed come playoff time. Team Orange on the other hand will likely miss the playoffs altogether when Commissioner Vito disqualifies them after Coleman Portis-es Greg G.

Game 3: - Team Tierney (Light Blue) vs. Team Vito (Blue)

-The Tierney Family Reunion is back at it after an objectively horrifying draft day trade with Team Spadoni. Troy, as usual, was on the losing end of this trade and the draft in general. Let’s see if he can top his win output from last season with this sorry collection of misfits. Team Vito looked sluggish all game and waited until deep in the second half to secure this one, but Rob looked like his usual productive self (minus the highly questionable headband), Mike Davis still looks like a double-double machine dancing on the cusp of injury oblivion, and Steve will be more productive with less responsibility on this squad. They’ll be in contention later in the season, assuming Rob and Steve patch up their inevitable Vegas lover’s quarrel in time for the title game.

Standings

Team	Captain	Win	Loss	Record	Win %	Streak
Blue	Vito	1	0	1 - 0	1.000	W1
Yellow	Matt V	1	0	1 - 0	1.000	W1
Grey	Spadoni	1	0	1 - 0	1.000	W1
Orange	Bo	0	1	0 - 1	0.000	L1
Green	Brennan	0	1	0 - 1	0.000	L1
Light Blue	Tierney	0	1	0 - 1	0.000	L1
Red	Garmes	0	0	0 - 0	#DIV/0!
Dark Blue	Konrath	0	0	0 - 0	#DIV/0!