2016-2017: Week 6 Player Reports
-Easily the biggest surprise of
the season, Team Light Blue has jumped out to an improbable 4-1 record to start
the season. If you take out their upset
victory over Team Orange, which might have a small asterisk from the absence of
small Jerry, and their loss to the undefeated Team Garmes,
Team Light Blue's opponent's combined record is a pathetic 1-13. But who cares? The point is to win the games you're supposed
to win and look to steal wins in the playoffs if you're overmatched. There's nothing special on this team, but
they tend to protect the ball and rebound well on both ends of the floor. Dark Blue showed some further signs of life
bringing this game down to the wire, but they might need a better offensive
strategy than the Harrigans taking turns
shooting. Jimmy the Bird and the Greek
Freak Georgio can both play and need to stay involved
for this team to turn things around. But
they better hurry. We're just two weeks
away from the halfway point in the regular season.
-Team Green continues to stay under the radar and rack up wins. If you were embarrassed by Light Blue's strength of schedule, Team Green's easy path will scorch your shorts. Matt V's opponent's combined record is an impressive 3-16. That's a combined .158 winning percentage for those of you who lost your Texas Instruments calculator back in high school. The jury is still out on the new version of Team Red without Daniher. They still seem soft. With two capable scorers, it's hard to see them missing the playoffs, but this team is shallower than Matt V's flimsy manhood. If you stop their two primary scorers, 80% of their team possessions will end up on the blooper reel.
-In a battle of the beatens, Team Bo came out on top, snagging their first victory of the season. Team Yellow's struggles might be as big of a surprise as Light Blue's success. However, they find themselves at the opposite end of the strength of schedule spectrum. Standing at 1-3, the combined record of their opponents in the games they've lost is 12-1. HatchetBall 2016-2017 is certainly feast or famine. The famine has hit Steve the hardest. Now he's starving for wins and a nice dinner plate of ass.
Standings
|
Team |
Captain |
Win |
Loss |
Record |
Win % |
Streak |
|
Blue |
Garmes |
4 |
0 |
4 - 0 |
1.000 |
W4 |
|
Green |
Matt V |
4 |
0 |
4 - 0 |
1.000 |
W4 |
|
Light Blue |
Guinane |
4 |
1 |
4 - 1 |
0.800 |
W4 |
|
|
Vito |
3 |
1 |
3 - 1 |
0.750 |
L1 |
|
Red |
Brennan |
2 |
3 |
2 - 3 |
0.400 |
L1 |
|
Yellow |
Bo |
1 |
3 |
1 - 3 |
0.250 |
W1 |
|
Dark Blue |
Tierney |
0 |
5 |
0 - 5 |
0.000 |
L5 |
|
Grey |
Beave |
0 |
5 |
0 - 5 |
0.000 |
L5 |