Week Fourteen Player Reports

 

Mark Koll: On BYE in Week Fourteen.

 

            What's Next: Mark will come back from Vegas a rich man with a stripper side-wife.

 

 

Mark Koll 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

29.90

8.80

3.80

1.10

86.76%

 

 

 

Matt Koll: On BYE in Week Fourteen.

 

            What's Next: Matt will have to step it up big time against Team Red in Week Fifteen.

 

 

Matt Koll 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

7.90

10.10

5.10

2.00

23.08%

 

 

 

Matt Vitaliano: Matt V has led his team to another #1 seed for the playoffs.  They'll finish up their season in Week Fifteen against the dogshit Team Grey.  However, they'll be down most of their roster, so they may not be able to get to 11 wins.

 

            What's Next: Potential triple-double from Matt V in Week Fifteen.

 

 

Matt Vitaliano 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

8.33

3.67

0.89

0.33

NA

 

 

 

Rob Knapczyk: Rob added another double-double to his credit in an easy win.  Unfortunately this game was the last time he'll score until his next HatchetBall game (which is well after he returns from Vegas with his penis unused).

 

            What's Next: Rob and Steve make out in Vegas.

 

 

Rob Knapczyk 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

26.20

10.80

4.20

0.20

77.27%

 

 

 

Luke A:  Luke's numbers continue to dip to near nothing.  He'll likely be more valuable in the playoffs, but then again, Luke isn't very valuable at anything.

 

            What's Next: Luke will pretend he still knows how to play cards in Vegas.

 

Luke A. 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

8.78

8.00

3.22

1.22

46.67%

 

 

 

Jerry Hahn: DNP.  Out for season due to injury.

 

            What's Next: Many long months of painful introspection and rehabilitation.

 

 

Jerry Hahn 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

NA

NA

NA

NA

NA

 

 

 

Dave Troy:  Showing up late in a critical game, Troy was able to finally get a few shots to fall and lead his team to a much-needed win.  After the Davis injury, this team is going nowhere fast, but this win should put them squarely into the playoffs.  I can't see them beating any of the playoff teams, but getting the chance to pull an upset is just as important as actually winning the game.

 

            What's Next: Yellow finishes their schedule against Light Blue and Regular Blue in Week Fifteen and Sixteen.  They'll probably lose them both.

 

 

Dave Troy 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

13.11

4.33

2.22

0.11

64.71%

 

 

 

Mike Steigerwald: Struggling mightily with his shot, Team Blue missed out a great opportunity to vie for the much-coveted #2 seed and the all-important first-round BYE.  This is still a strange team.  With Mark V's flakiness and their matchup issues, it's hard to see them winning three straight games in the playoffs, which by definition means they're not a contender.

 

            What's Next: Blue finishes their regular season in Week Sixteen against Team Yellow.  Finishing 6-6 should put them in a 3, 4, or 5 seed.

 

 

Mike Steigerwald 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

24.10

9.40

5.00

0.30

82.14%

 

 

 

Steve Dudek: Resentment continues to grow for Steve, as his team continues to ignore him.  He finished this game with just 2 points.  But Steve has vowed revenge and will betray them all at a critical point in the playoffs.

 

            What's Next: Steve will undoubtedly be calling one of those trash hookers that advertise on the Las Vegas Strip though illegal immigrants.

 

 

Steve Dudek 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

12.64

7.64

4.36

0.18

61.22%

 

 

 

Mike Davis: Out for the Season due to injury.

 

            What's Next: Ouch, brah.

 

 

Mike Davis 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

13.20

12.40

3.80

0.60

41.67%

 

 

 

Paul Hobe: DNP in Week Fourteen.

 

            What's Next: Hopefully a HUGE outing against Team Grey in Week Fourteen.

 

 

Paul Hobe 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

5.38

7.00

0.88

0.63

28.57%

 

 

 

Mark Vitaliano: While he did manage a double-double in Week Fourteen, his play dipped after an outstanding effort the week before.  And that dip may have cost his team a critical win.

 

            What's Next: Who the fuck knows?

 

 

Mark Vitaliano 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

13.82

9.27

2.27

0.36

61.40%

 

 

 

Eric Mittermann: Eric gathered double-digit rebounds for the first time in yet another loss. 

 

            What's Next: Eric looks like the front-runner for the Pat Ashe award.

 

 

Eric Mittermann 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

2.10

5.00

0.70

0.40

16.67%

 

2015-2016 Standings

 

Team

Captain

Record

Win %

Streak

DarkBlue

Matt V

10 - 1

0.909

W3

LightBlue

Vito

6 - 4

0.600

W3

Yellow

Daniher

5 - 5

0.500

W1

Orange

Brennan

5 - 5

0.500

L2

Red

Garmes

5 - 5

0.500

L1

Blue

Tierney

5 - 6

0.455

L1

Grey

Beave

4 - 7

0.364

L1

Green

Bo

2 - 9

0.182

L3

 

 

2015-2016 Player Ratings

 

Player

Player Rating

Rank

Rob Knapczyk

311.00

1

Mark Koll

305.44

2

Steve Dudek

239.83

3

Luke A.

214.75

4

Matt Koll

203.46

5

Matt Vitaliano

201.37

6

Paul Hobe

186.61

7

Mike Steigerwald

179.22

8

Mark Vitaliano

142.08

9

Dave Troy

123.95

10

Mike Davis

121.09

11

Eric Mittermann

44.28

12