Week Twelve Player Reports

 

Mark Koll: If you match up Mark's offensive output in the first version of the Team Orange vs. Team Dark Blue showdown with the play of his supporting cast in the second version, Team Orange wins the sequel by a large margin.  Mark was held mostly in check during this game, but timely shots from his teammates kept this one close down the stretch.  Unfortunately, Dark Blue's shots were even timelier and Orange fell for the second time this season to Matt V's squad of closeted gays.

 

            What's Next: Another rematch game for Team Orange in Week Thirteen, this time against Steigerballs and company.

 

 

Mark Koll 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

30.00

8.56

4.11

1.22

86.21%

 

 

 

Matt Koll: Somewhere along the way Matt Koll turned the corner this season and has played consistent ball ever since.  His impact on the game spoke larger than his 7, 11, 5 stat line.  But he did cough up a costly turnover when his team was FINALLY in position to take the lead in this one.  Hopefully he'll be ready for the second rematch in the playoffs, assuming both teams get to the 'ship. 

 

            What's Next: Matt might draw the tough task of covering Steigercrawl in Week Thirteen. 

 

 

Matt Koll 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

8.11

10.11

5.22

1.89

23.08%

 

 

 

Matt Vitaliano: DNP in Week Twelve.  Well, I mean, he played.  But nothing noticeable.

 

            What's Next: Matt V and company square off against the resurgent Team Red in Week Thirteen.

 

 

Matt Vitaliano 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

8.57

3.43

1.00

0.14

NA

 

 

 

Rob Knapczyk: Rob put together a solid game on top of drawing the toughest defensive assignment in HatchetBall.  He finished with a season-low 14 points, but gather 10 rebounds and was smart enough to pass the ball when he drew double teams in the post.  Now, usually, you would assume passing out of those double-teams to Luke was an ill-advised strategy.  But Luke stepped up and hit the shots that the defense dared him to make.  Rob gathered 6 assists in this contest and I'd wager that they were all to Luke.

 

            What's Next: Rob will try his hand at soliciting a prostitute in Vegas.

 

 

Rob Knapczyk 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

25.88

9.88

4.50

0.25

80.00%

 

 

 

Luke A:  If Luke was ever going to win a Player of the Week, this would have to be the week.  He scored 14 critical points, including a game winner, and added 8 rebounds and 2 blocks.  Everything is coming up Milhouse Lucas.  Is Luke's title drought over?

 

            What's Next: Probably many thousands of years before Luke hits that shot again.

 

Luke A. 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

9.43

7.71

3.14

1.14

45.45%

 

 

 

Jerry Hahn: DNP.  Out for season due to injury.

 

            What's Next: Many long months of painful introspection and rehabilitation.

 

 

Jerry Hahn 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

NA

NA

NA

NA

NA

 

 

 

Dave Troy:  Yeeesh.  Someone clear some space for where Team Yellow is about to crash land. In their three games remaining, Team Yellow will play the bottom three teams in HatchetBall.  Unfortunately, the way they're playing right now, I would pin Team Yellow as the underdog against all three teams.  And while it's good to not have to play the top seeds, if Yellow falls to any of the remaining times, the loss is doubly-dangerous, as it will give a win to the very teams trying to pass Yellow in the standings.

 

            What's Next: After a BYE in Week Thirteen, Yellow faces a must-win against Team Grey.  If Yellow wins that game, they'll all but guarantee a playoff spot.  If they lose, they will be right on the brink, which is pretty shocking for a team that started the year 4-2. 

 

 

Dave Troy 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

12.88

4.50

2.38

0.13

64.71%

 

 

 

Mike Steigerwald: On BYE in Week Twelve.

 

            What's Next: Death to Steigerfalls.

 

 

Mike Steigerwald 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

25.11

9.33

4.88

0.22

87.50%

 

 

 

Steve Dudek: Steve continues to supplement his scoring with trips to the charity stripe, managing 12 total points on just two made FGs in Week Twelve.  He didn't particularly play his best game and those trips to the line were pretty generous calls from the refs, but points are points, and in a game decided by 2 total points, Steve's contributions were still crucial.

 

            What's Next: Mark will continue to sow the seeds of distrust between Steve and Rob.  Everything will boil over in Las Vegas.  Insults will be thrust forth, accusations made, and punches will fly.  Blaming Rob, Steve will resolve to stay in Vegas permanently.  He'll blow through most of his money in a little under a year.  Soon after, he's forced take a side job pulling weeds in one of the shabbier Casinos a few miles off the strip.  Walking to the bus stop one night after work, he'll accidentally witness a drug deal go sideways and catch a stray bullet behind his left ear.  Lying on the crumbled asphalt, as the dark, hot blood pools all around him, his last thoughts will be of Team Orange's 2015-2016 HatchetBall Championship.

 

 

Steve Dudek 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

13.33

8.22

4.78

0.11

57.78%

 

 

 

Mike Davis: DNP in Week Twelve.

 

            What's Next: Unconfirmed reports of a return in Week Thirteen.

 

 

Mike Davis 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

13.20

12.40

3.80

0.60

41.67%

 

 

 

Paul Hobe: Back in a supporting role, Paul blossomed in Week Twelve, adding 7 crucial points and one impressive blocked shot onto the stage.  I don't care what Matt V says about Paul behind his back, I think Paul's a great player.

 

            What's Next: A double-double before season's end.

 

 

Paul Hobe 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

5.86

7.86

0.86

0.71

28.57%

 

 

 

Mark Vitaliano: DNP in Week Twelve.

 

            What's Next: A critical game for Team Blue in Week Thirteen against Team Orange, who they narrowly defeated the first time around.

 

 

Mark Vitaliano 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

13.44

8.67

2.44

0.44

63.04%

 

 

 

Eric Mittermann: At this point, Team Green is all but eliminated from the playoffs.  On the plus side, Eric is about to gain the coolest neighbors ever.

 

            What's Next: Eric will learn about Mark's naked sleep walking.

 

 

Eric Mittermann 2015-2016 Season Averages

 

PPG

RPG

APG

BPG

FT%

2.13

4.00

0.63

0.38

16.67%

 

2015-2016 Standings

 

Team

Captain

Record

Win %

Streak

DarkBlue

Matt V

8 - 1

0.889

W1

Red

Garmes

5 - 4

0.556

W4

LightBlue

Vito

5 - 4

0.556

W2

Orange

Brennan

5 - 4

0.556

L1

Yellow

Daniher

4 - 5

0.444

L3

Blue

Tierney

4 - 5

0.444

L1

Grey

Beave

3 - 6

0.333

L4

Green

Bo

2 - 7

0.222

L1

 

 

2015-2016 Player Ratings

 

Player

Player Rating

Rank

Mark Koll

304.60

1

Rob Knapczyk

255.82

2

Steve Dudek

208.98

3

Matt Koll

203.70

4

Matt Vitaliano

167.75

5

Mike Steigerwald

167.48

6

Paul Hobe

161.97

7

Luke A.

160.54

8

Mark Vitaliano

131.94

9

Dave Troy

109.70

10

Mike Davis

106.80

11

Eric Mittermann

42.10

12