Week Six Player Reports

Matt V - the miserable sack of shit actually put up a relatively rounded game for once in his life, scoring in double digits (12) and snagging four rebounds and four assists. But still, Matt V has yet to attempt a free throw this season, a streak that is now embarassingly long. At this point, you have to figure we have a better chance at finding life on Mars than Matt V finding his way to the free throw line. Pathetic pussy.

Luke- Luke's team got its second win of the season and second in a row. Luke put up yet another average effort, but he has to be applauded for his consistency. He always hovers between 10-12 points and 9-11 rebounds. In the victory, Luke ended with 12 and 9. For the year, he's averaging just under ten points a game and exactly ten rebounds a game. Average, average, average. But to contend with the big boys, it's going to take a lot more than an average effort.

Rob - Rob got a little selfish in Week 6 and shot the ball anytime it came his way, ending up with zero assists. He put up 41 big points for his first ever 40-point performance and by doing so, ballooned his average up to 34.2 ppg - just shy of league leader Mark Koll, who stands tall at 35 ppg. Most importantly, Rob got another win and likely will be able to solidify his team's position in the middle of the pack in the coming weeks, thus guaranteeing a playoff spot come the end of March.

Jerry- Another impressive statistical game from Jerry, with 15 and 10 and 2 blocks, but as stated in past weeks, he will have to score much more to lead his team to the upper echelons of the league. The crowd is still waiting for the 20 ppg and 12 rpg Jerry promised for the new year. In a fatal mistake that cost his team the game, Jerry had a fast break with a chance to tie it up with only seconds remaining, and decided to pass the ball to Matt V on the wing for a game winning three pointer. Matt V, after pissing himself, promptly missed the shot, like everyone expected, and led his team to its third loss in a row after starting out 2-0. If Team Green plans to right the ship, they will need more points from Jerry and more time on the bench from Matt V.