Week Four Player Reports

Mark: Week Four went mostly to plan. The Red team - "Beave's Boys" - remained unbeaten after a late rally and MVP-hopeful Mark Koll stayed true to form and racked up 31 points. Most of the crowd envisions a day when Mark's jersey will be hanging from the St. John Fisher rafters, illuminated by a single spotlight.

Matt K - Another workmanlike effort from Matt with 7, 11, and 4. He's currently leading the league in both rebounds and assists, averaging 12 and 5 respectively. Then again assists must come easy when he's playing with the best sharpshooter Hatchetball has ever laid eyes on. Unfortunately, after a hot start, Matt's woes at the line have returned and he's shooting a Brendan Haywood-esque 40%.

Luke - Then again, Luke is shooting an abysmal 2 for 11 from the stripe this season for a pitiful 18%. Luke's so bad at free throws, he makes Matt Koll look like Mark Price. The Big Greek did pile up three blocks in his Week 4 contest, which leaves him with a league leading total of 5, but his team lost again. If the Red Team is the Green Bay Packers in style and dominance, Luke's pitiful sky-blue sissy-squad is surely the Colts.

Troy - Coming off the bench once again, Troy put up 4, 7, 1. Troy is dead last in points, three pointers, and blocks. He would also be in dead last in rebounds and assists if not for the gelatinous blob of pussy juice that is Matt V. But Troy is playing on the best team in the league and not all contributions show up on the stat sheet. He's clearly made an impact with his 3-0 squad and expect some great efforts in the coming weeks.