Week Two Player Reports

Luke- Another double-digit rebounding game for Luke, but without scoring more points, his team is likely in trouble. Luke is also shooting a horrendous 2 for 9 from the free throw line this year which is only 22%. He might be better off feigning injury each time he goes to the line and having someone off the bench shoot for him. Luke also saw most of his numbers fall for Week 2. Less points, less three pointers, less rebounds, and less assists. You gotta start wondering if Luke is already running out of gas.

Jerry- Solid game by Jerry as he helps his team get to 2-0. 14, 13, 4 are the type of numbers little kids dream about late at night in their bunk beds. And Jerry promises even better numbers to come. We'll stay tuned to see if Team Forest Green can stay on track...

Matt V - Standard, boring game for Matt V. The only thing interesting about watching Matt V's stats is to see if he'll ever record a blocked shot, or an assist, or attempt a free throw. My guess is that he'll do none of them all season long.

Rob - Rob exploded for 37 points, knocking down four threes in a row in the later minutes of the game. Unfortunately his team was down by almost 20 points and those threes amounted to nothing but stat-filler. And though Rob did his part, getting to the line 13 times, his team is firmly in the cellar of the league at 0-2, and his only cellar-mate is Luke - which can't be very comforting. I'm also changing the name of Rob's team from Team Sunny Delight to Team Amy "Whine"house, as his constant bitching to the refs reminds me of a pre-pubescent girl.

Matt K - narrowly missed a double-double by a single point but snatched an impressive 17 rebounds. His troubles at the line may have come back with a 1 for 4 showing, but overall he played well.

Troy - In Troy's first ever HatchetBall game, he almost hit double-digits. Coming off the bench, he also went 4 for 4 from the free throw line. He showed a lot of spunk for a rookie. And let me tell you, I'm sure Troy has a lot of spunk inside him.

Mark- Efficient game for the ex-Olympian. Though he was mostly used as a decoy to get his teammates wide open shots, he still put up 23 points and grabbed 8 rebounds. It won't be long before the chants inside Fisher Arena change from "Matt V is a disgusting old pervert!" to thunderous "MVP!" chants for Koll.