Week One Player Reports

Jerry Hahn - In his first ever HatchetBall performance Jerry shocked the veterans by showing up an entire half late. Working with only the second half, Jerry was still able to grab six boards and a block to boot. Jerry also managed an entire two points. I hope he saved the ball from his first HatchetBall bucket.

Matt V - Matt V put up his standard line of 3 three pointers and not much else. His favorite past time is to stand at the three point like he's in line for a gang bang and wait until it's his turn to shoot his load - which he does, just like in basketball, early and often.

Luke - Luke has worked himself into shape for this year and his numbers show it. 12, 12, and 4 isn't bad at all and should get his team some wins down the road. Then again, Luke apparently didn't get the memo that you should guard a person nearing 50 points for the game. As three after three rained in over Luke's head, you'd think he would consider leaving the paint and trying to guard me. But alas, it never occurred to him. Similarly, I wonder how many times I could hit him in his giant pumpkin head with a hammer before he notices he is indeed being whacked in the head with a hammer. Good effort, pathetic strategy.

Matt K - 8, 8, 7 - solid workmanlike effort from Matt. Hit a big three and two free throws when it mattered most. Can't ask for more than that. Unless...

Mark - rewrote the record books for points scored (46) and three pointers made (11). Officials at the St. John Fisher Hall of Fame are clearing space for me now.

Rob - playing for team Sunny Delight, Rob ran into some early season frustration. He poured in 33 points and grabbed ten rebounds and put up the best statistical performance by anyone not named Mark Koll.