HatchetBall Player Profiles

HATCHETBALL

PLAYER
PROFILES

Mark Koll

This 5-Time champion also has 4 scoring titles and led the league in rebounds and blocks in 2018. He was the MVP in 2019 and in the 2022-2023 season he will become the first player to eclipse 4,000 career points.

Career Stats

Mark Koll Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season
2012-2013 Season

Matt Koll

One of just four players in HatchetBall history to secure 1,000 points and 1,000 rebounds, he also has a treasure trove of other accomplishments. He secured his 4th title in 2022, putting him just 1 shy of being tied for the all-time lead.

Career Stats

Matt Koll Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season
2012-2013 Season

Matt Vitaliano

This four-time champion hasn't done shit since 2017.

Career Stats

Matt Vitaliano Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season
2012-2013 Season

Luke Asimakopoulos

After a bounce-back season in 2021-2022, Luke looks ready to add to his two titles. He's always been a strong supporting cast type of player, and there are plenty of high-level scorers the need support. His draft position will make or break his year in 2022-2023.

Career Stats

Luke Asimakopoulos Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season
2012-2013 Season

Jerry Hahn

3-Time Champion, Jerry has quickly become the captain to beat. He one of only two players with 1,000+ career points, 1,000+ career rebounds, and 500+ career assists. He will become a father in 2022 and is excited to learn how to read alongside his child.

Career Stats

Jerry Hahn Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season
2012-2013 Season

Dave Troy

It's been a full decade since he won his first and only title. Will Dave Troy ever figure it out?

Career Stats

Dave Troy Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season
2012-2013 Season

Steve Dudek

Steve stinks and refuses to change anything, so expect him to have awful results until his giant heart explodes.

Career Stats

Steve Dudek Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season

Bobby Dudek

The one-time champion has doesn't much over the last two seasons. Let's see if he can find a roster that gives him a shot to show what he can do in 2022-2023.

Career Stats

Bobby Dudek Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season

Brad Falco

The former Rookie of the Year (2018) won his first title in 2022. His penis video editing skills are also top notch.

Career Stats

Brad Falco Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season

Rob Knapczyk

Coming hot off one of the most disappointing years of his career, Rob will have to find his own way back to the winner's circle. He remains one of the most dominant scorers in the league on some nights and one of the whiniest losers on others. He'll need to find a balance between the two.

Career Stats

Rob Knapczyk Highlight Reels
2021-2022 Season
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season
2012-2013 Season

<RETIRED LOSERS>

Mike Steigerwald

This one-time champion was a HatchetBall scoring supernova for 8 years. He was forced into an early retirement due to family responsibilities. Will he ever return?

Career Stats

Mike Steigerwald Highlight Reels
2020-2021 Season
2019-2020 Season
2018-2019 Season
2017-2018 Season
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season
2013-2014 Season

Eric Mittermann

Eric was deported to England in 2017 for poor dental hygiene.

Career Stats

Eric Mittermann Highlight Reels
2016-2017 Season
2015-2016 Season

Mark Vitaliano

The much-better basketball talent in the Vitaliano household, his ambivalence towards HatcheBall resulted in a short career that left most of his potential untapped.

Career Stats

Mark Vitaliano Highlight Reels
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season

Mike Davis

After a stunning Rookie of the Year campaign in 2014, Mike's career was tragically cut short by two consecutive injuries. While his tenure was brief, Mike should still be remembered as one of the best rebounders in HatchetBall history.

Career Stats

Mike Davis Highlight Reels
2014-2015 Season

Paul Hobe

Paul immortalized himself by becoming a HatchetBall champion in 2016. Shortly after, he got an ouchie on his finger and he was never seen again.

Career Stats

Paul Hobe Highlight Reels
2015-2016 Season
2014-2015 Season

Ryan Drish

Better known for his acting skills in the annual HatchetBall awards banquet videos, Drish did play an astounding (3) actual HatchetBall games in 2012. Total career points: 2.

Career Stats

Ryan Drish Highlight Reels
None